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  • Listening to: Enigma
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Hello there.

Today is the 22nd of September 2010 and I have finally decided to write a journal on this site.  First of all,  I should introduce myself!  My name is Rebecca Brown (how original! :D) I'm 17 years old and I live in the United Kingdom.  I'm currently studying Art, Photography and Sociology for my second year at College and I hope to study Television/Film/Media/Radio at University next year.

I am known on the video website as "Beckie0" (Beckieoh!) and I have a following of over 10,000 people! :)  I have been creating videos for more than 5 years now and video creating has been a large part of my life, expressing and talking to the world.

I have Trichotillomania (aka Trich), which is very difficult to talk about.  To sum it up as simply as I can - its an almost OCD disorder whereby I repetitively pull out my hair on a large scale.  This often results in large bald patches - and the emotional attachment to this disorder can be hard to understand and very overwhelming for the "sufferer."

I find it easier to express and talk through various internet mediums about my inner thoughts (especially regarding trich)than talking to the person next to me or even my own family.

I express my feelings and emotions through my photographs and videos.  Unlike many people I'm not afraid to show how I feel - and in most cases - the way that I look (although in real life I'm less confident.)

I take a variety of photographs, however I tend to focus on one particular area:  Cloning.  (Whereby there are multiples of me in one photograph.) In the last year the number of clones has increased from just two, and I try to convey a particular feeling or emotion through the overall photograph.

I am a very complex person, and there are many layers to me...

So there's a little insight into me....


beckie0's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Varied
United Kingdom

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gamespeaker13 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Was on your usteam asking about deviantart, and said I could say hello...

So hello :D
dreaminglagoon Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi becky!
I found you on youtube yesterday.
I have trich too but I rip my eyelashes and eyebrows. I had never met someone who had it and in the country I live in those kinds of diseases are very frowned upon.
I just thought that I've never seen someone as strong as you are, and I love your videos! they're so well edited.
I've never had the courage to post a video about me.
You're awesome. Hope we can talk some day.
GodsGirlRachel Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh wow I found Beckie on here by accident and happened to stumble on you, too! ^^
so hi~! XD
I have Trich too but (at least so far) I also only pull my eyelashes and eyebrows
its kinda been getting worse, but I've been doing it to my lashes since I was 14, and only recently to my eyebrows (17 now almost 18)
HOW WERE YOU SO HARD TO FIND?! XD I don't know many other Triches, but those that I do, have the more 'common' Trich where you pull out your head hair. Or even if you pull that and other places, it's just mostly the head hair?? Idk it's just hard to find someone that pulls in the same places that I currently do xD <3
I hope this didn't sound random or awkward at all I just found someone I related to and freaking tackled you to the ground pretty much I'm so sorry XDDD <3
dreaminglagoon Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so glad to find out that I am not alone in this. I am 20 and I started pulling when I was about eleven, but I thought nothing of it. I realized at 17 that it was a real problem when at one point, patches of my eyebrows and eyelashes were missing. I was really afraid of running out of eyelashes, or wearing the follicles out so they'd never grow back.
Lately I've been using this thing called "Castor Oil". I started the treatment like two months ago but I've been recording the progress and it really gets them healthy, they also become harder to pull which is good :D
I'm so glad that you found me!!
Hello incredibly friendly stranger!! :3
GodsGirlRachel Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Same here~! ^^
YeH I also thought it was just a bad habbit that I needed to stop. I didn't understand why it was so hard to do so, that I mostly did it when I was stressed (14 was one of the most stressful years for me since that's when I first started to not just have slight anxiety, but have it enough to have some pretty scary panic attacks. Also something I never heard of before), let alone that it had a name or anything like that. XP I accidentally stumbled on Beckie when I was 16, and that was the only reason I heard/learned about it.
So after I learned it was a type of disorder, and that stopped being so scary to me, I told my mom and dad about Beckie and what Trich was. My dad said he thought it was totally bizzar, and that everyone who had it must be 'unsaved' (we're all Christians, but my dad is a narcissist if you happen to know what that is XP So he's a very hypocritical 'Christian'), and even went as far to say he thought people like that have a form of demon possession. T T"
My mom, however, did not. So I've only told her about the fact I have Trich and asked not to tell my dad. TvT" She's pretty supportive and tries to help me stop. (Which is hard, cause I also have a habbit of just twisting my head hair. I'm worried I might start trying to pull it, but at least twisting doesn't damage it too much. It just makes it curlier than it already is xD But no one really pulls their main spots around others so she can't really catch me and tell me to stop XP)

Yeah I have the same fear. XP I used to have really long, thick lashes, and I loved them other than when I got a lash in my eye xD But yeah I'm really worried they'll all get picked off and never grow back again. XP I started my eyebrows a little after I found out about Trich in order to try and give my lashes a break. It started out fine, since I was only able to comb out the loose hairs. Now it's gotten a lot worse, and I have to force myself to try and just pull the hairs I don't want in order to 'shape' them. It's also gone from being about once a month, to being a little more frequent.
Once I even pulled out a lash, and for the first time I actually got a little blood to come out. That freaked me out, obviously. =^="

Wow, really? Thanks so much! My mom was trying to find different oils for my fingers to get too slippery to actually pull anything out. But I'm a digital and traditional artist. So having oil prints on my picture/making it harder to work with my tools would be a bigger pain than my Trich xD I'll totally keep my eye out for it and ask my mom to, too~! ^^ And I'm really glad it helps you! ;w; ^^

Me too~! ^^ And hello back~! <3 >w<
Destro7000 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013   Digital Artist
meow! :meow:
ChristyReserva Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow I'm so glad to have finally found your deviantart page. I first found out about you through the seedandspark trichster funding film, which I'm so grateful to learn about, and they included a link of your tumblr page. So upon discovering your tumblr, I came across your youtube videos and now your facebook and dA page. lol Stalking, much? No, just "following" like all the other folks here. ^_^ I must say that you've been a great inspiration to many trichotillomania sufferers and the fact that you put yourself out there to speak with honesty about it, has given me the courage to take a step into recovery. That's why I'm now bald! :w00t!: Thanks for being so cool and candid, keep it up!
Seahorselady12 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Saw you on YouTube, also followed you on tumblr. I am Fandom-Star
ErraticDream Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I just saw you on Youtube! You're amazing!
HByway Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
Hello Beckie~ It's surprised me that you are here too~ Have a nice day~
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